


Bro, I Don’t Have A Foot Kink

by notwest



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Coming In Pants, Coming Untouched, Foot Massage, Humanstuck, M/M, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:07:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25375909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notwest/pseuds/notwest
Summary: Dave gets his feet pampered. An unexpected series of events occur.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 8
Kudos: 71
Collections: Dave "Cums His Pants" Strider





	Bro, I Don’t Have A Foot Kink

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AllDaveKat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllDaveKat/gifts).



> mobile users you gotta flip it turnways

FADE IN:

INT. BEAUTY SPA - DAY

DAVE STRIDER, a young man wearing sunglasses and an oversized hoodie over skinny jeans, swaggers in and approaches the front desk. He presents the RECEPTIONIST with a COUPON.

DAVE

hello yes ill take one pedicure

RECEPTIONIST

(nodding)

Name?

DAVE

dave strider

RECEPTIONIST

One moment.

DAVE

okay

(pause)

yeah nothing to look at here just a dude here to get his feet pampered and all dolled up for the ball tonight

Dave leans against the desk while he waits and looks around the salon. KARKAT VANTAS, a plainly dressed but very fit employee, stomps in. Dave spots him immediately.

DAVE

yo is that guy free

The receptionist follows Dave's gaze and scoffs.

RECEPTIONIST

You can't just come in and ask for Karkat Van—oh.

She is looking at her computer.

RECEPTIONIST (CONT'D)

Actually it looks like he has a cancellation. Come with me.

The receptionist sits Dave in the nearest empty massage chair and walks off to speak to Karkat. Dave lifts his SUNGLASSES into his hair and removes his HIGH-TOP SNEAKERS and socks. He wiggles his toes.

DAVE

this is it lil guys i hope youre ready for primetime

Karkat walks over and kneels in front of Dave, nudging his feet into the tub of warm water without a greeting. He spends some time setting up his supplies, including several bottles of various OILS AND CREAMS. He takes Dave's feet out of the water one at a time and starts to trim his cuticles.

DAVE

so uh

(pause)

sup

KARKAT

DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO TALK TO ME. PEOPLE USUALLY DON'T AND I PREFER IT THAT WAY.

DAVE

oh well call me a weirdo but i kinda feel like i need to make at least some small talk with the hot guy whos manhandling my tootsies

Karkat shows the hint of a smile.

DAVE (CONT'D)

so i guess youre like the best around here or something

Karkat grunts.

KARKAT

OR SOMETHING.

DAVE

i dunno when i asked for you that girl at the front acted like i was asking for an appointment with barack obama himself

Karkat raises an eyebrow but says nothing. He begins to clip and file Dave’s toenails at a PRACTICED SPEED.

DAVE (CONT’D)

i mean i dont have anything to compare this too but i guess im having a pretty alright time

KARKAT

WAIT, IS THIS YOUR FIRST PEDICURE?

DAVE

uh yeah

Dave gestures around the room.

DAVE (CONT'D)

im sure you noticed im not exactly the picture of your regular clientele

Karkat glares.

KARKAT

WE GET ALL TYPES OF PEOPLE IN HERE. I DON'T JUDGE.

DAVE

(nervously)

right... of course

KARKAT

OKAY, SO WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO COME IN HERE WHERE YOU OH SO DON'T FUCKING BELONG?

DAVE

i signed up for the wrong raffle at work and of course i fucking won except i didnt want to look like a tool by giving it back so here i am

KARKAT

(sarcastic)

WELL. I HOPE I CAN MAKE YOUR EXPERIENCE AS ENJOYABLE AS POSSIBLE.

DAVE

(oblivious)

dont worry about it just looking at you is enough to make this supremely worth it

Caught off guard, Karkat VISIBLY BLUSHES. He ducks his head to towel off Dave's feet and set them up on the footrest.

KARKAT

ROLL UP YOUR DAMN PANTS.

Dave bends over and struggles to roll up his SKINNY JEANS. He gets them to just above his ankle before giving up.

DAVE

sadly thats as much skin as i get to show off today

(pause)

modern fashion am i right

Karkat rolls his eyes. He's got one of the luxury spa creams in his hands and begins to slather it onto one of Dave's feet. Dave gasps and jerks his foot away.

DAVE

okay what in the oval office are you doing

KARKAT

WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE. YOU'RE GETTING A MASSAGE AND PEDICURE. THIS IS THE MASSAGE PART, DUMBASS.

Karkat grabs hold of Dave's foot again. Dave is still squirming, but tries to keep still.

DAVE

(uncomfortable)

right right right right right

KARKAT

RELAX, IDIOT.

Dave closes his eyes and starts humming to himself. After a few minutes of tension it seems to work and Karkat begins the massage in earnest, digging his thumbs into the arch of Dave's foot.

DAVE

fuck okay that feels good

Karkat snorts but keeps working as Dave's hums become longer and more drawn out. By the time Karkat switches to the other foot Dave's breathing has become LABORED, but Karkat is so focused he doesn't notice.

DAVE

(pleasured)

ahh...

Dave is gripping tightly onto both armrests, visibly aroused. As Karkat continues the massage, Dave tries to casually adjust his pants to make sure his RAGING BONER is concealed.

KARKAT

ARE YOU OKAY?

DAVE

im goooood—ahhh!

Dave moans long and loud at the same time as his foot jerks forward and hits Karkat dead in the face. Karkat stands, holding his nose.

KARKAT

DID YOU JUST FUCKING…?

DAVE

uh

Dave jumps up and runs toward the door, BAREFOOT and holding his crotch in his hands. He exits.

KARKAT

WHAT! THE! FUCK!

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. SUPERMARKET - DAY

Karkat is shopping in the frozen section.

SUPER: ONE WEEK LATER

As Karkat walks past one of the freezers. We see Dave HIDING inside of it, face and hands pressed against the glass. After passing by, Karkat slowly walks backwards and turns to face Dave. His mouth opens in surprise.

KARKAT

YOU!

Dave waves meekly.

KARKAT (CONT'D)

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

Dave twists his arm to grab something off the shelf behind him. It's a box of HOT POCKETS.

DAVE

shopping

They stare at eachother.

KARKAT

I'M LEAVING.

DAVE

wait

Before Karkat can move, Dave flings open the freezer door. It hits Karkat in the face. Dave hops out and Karkat's hands fly to his nose.

KARKAT

ARE YOU GOD DAMN FUCKING SHITTING ME?

DAVE

oh my god dude im so sorry

Karkat starts backing away.

KARKAT

STAY AWAY FROM ME!

DAVE

wait wait just let me say this one thing

Karkat stops. They're standing about six feet apart. A handful of SHOPPERS mill around them, occasionally glancing over.

DAVE

im sorry about what happened the other day

KARKAT

ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHEN YOU CAME IN YOUR FUCKING PANTS WHILE I WAS MASSAGING YOUR FEET, OR WHEN YOU KICKED ME IN THE FACE?

DAVE

both i guess

KARKAT

(hysterical)

YOU GUESS?

DAVE

fuck i mean no i definitely and one hundred percent apologize for everything

Dave runs a hand through his hair.

DAVE (CONT'D)

i just wanted you to know… considering… i swear im not some kind of foot freak or anything

Karkat crosses his arms.

KARKAT

SO WHAT IF YOU WERE.

DAVE

(stumbling)

what no i just mean like i had no idea that was gonna happen trust me if i knew i could nut like that from a foot massage ida been capitalizing on that shit a long time ago

Karkats eyebrows go up and Dave freezes, looking mortified.

DAVE CONT’D

(muttering)

jesus christ never mind i cannot believe i keep fucking up in front of you i swear hot guys make me stupid

KARKAT

YOU KEEP DOING THAT.

DAVE

doing what

KARKAT

CALLING ME HOT.

DAVE

yeah and the sun keeps rising every morning and babies keep shitting themselves what of it

Karkat smiles despite himself.

KARKAT

LOOK, YOU LEFT YOUR FUCKING SHOES AT THE SALON. IF YOU WANT YOU CAN COME BY—

Dave opens his mouth to talk but Karkat puts up his hand.

KARKAT (CONT'D)

AFTER HOURS. I’LL MEET YOU THERE AT EIGHT.

DAVE

you know shoes are one thing but i kinda ran out before getting my full moneys worth in terms of that massage

KARKAT

YOU USED A COUPON.

DAVE

all the more reason to honor it and secure my future patronage

KARKAT

JUST TO BE CLEAR, YOU ACTUALLY WANT ME TO FINISH YOUR MASSAGE.

Dave scratches the back of his head, looking at Karkat with a HALF SMILE.

DAVE

i mean if youre up for it i cant exactly say i wasnt having a good time if you catch my drift

Karkat tries to hide his blush by covering his face with one hand, but nods.

KARKAT

JUST... DON'T HIT ME IN THE FACE ANYMORE.

They start to walk toward the checkout together.

DAVE

no promises

Karkat shoves him into a display of CANNED CORN.

FADE OUT.

THE END


End file.
